put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
