look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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