I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
