No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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