Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
