I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
