A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
