: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Let's get the cat blown out
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
