nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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