your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize