If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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