That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
