Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
