he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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