It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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