so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
did i walk over a car last night?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
