Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
