Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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