first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
