Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
