My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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