I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
