There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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