her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
