so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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