I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
