I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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