I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize