pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
