Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My feet surprised me
Randomize