if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
