I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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