Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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