I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
