oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
