I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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