This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
