scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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