He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Damn victory sex feels great
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
