ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
