My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
