office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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