I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
