So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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