I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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