Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Duck Duck Cougar?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
