so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
