I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
