The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i now understand why vodka
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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