it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
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