My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
