At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
