Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No subtext here. People are naked.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
