Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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