does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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