i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
