Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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