The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
