Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
