kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize