remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
