planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
