Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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