I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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